Yesterday morning my new room had the perfect lighting pre-run. I had to capture it, not only because I felt excited about what was ahead for the day (run, client meetings, lunch with my dude, recipe formulation) but also because these kinds of morning moments are very seriously when I feel my best. It’s super quiet in the AM hours around my house, and as I tinker with my coffee and my water and my pre-workout getting ready routine I am more often than not super stoked. It seemed worth noticing.
A lot has been going on lately, like some seriously beautiful and epic shit. As I mentioned, I have moved into a new room in my Oakland house, and for the first time in the entire four years of dating Kett, we are sharing a room space. (We have lived in the same quarters for the entirety of our relationship, but never the same room). The room is giant, so spacious in fact that I have more room for my things than I did when I lived in the shack. I still don’t have very much stuff and definitely don’t mind living tiny, but it is kind of nice to spread out a bit more, to have wifi in my room, and to never wake up in the middle of night dreading the reality that I have to go to the bathroom.
It has been an adjustment to share a room, because just logistically, I go to bed at ten and wake up at six 99% of the time. Kett is much more likely to stay up until 3am and sleep until noon. Both of us are having to figure out how to navigate our different schedules while being in the space and its interesting to watch our communication grow and deepen with the process. I am happy to be marrying this dude! (Even when he wants to watch YouTube videos about Scientology when I am trying to sleep).
What else?
When I turned 31 this year, I promised myself that this would be the year I was in a punk band.
I’ve wanted to make punk music since I was 14 years old, discovered veganism through hardcore bands, and spent hours and hours on Greyhound busses and as the passenger in my friend’s cars so that I could watch bands scream about it. I am not musically inclined instrumentally, but I’ve always had the fantasy that I could frontline a screamy band and call it a day. It took more than half of my life to make the fantasy a reality, but luckily this is the year that I finally swallowed the nay-sayer inside and kicked it with a microphone.
First, I did both guest vocals and some song writing for my friends in the band Yearbooks. My vocals are on song one of the linked album, and my friend Brian and I wrote the lyrics together. Because I think they’re relevant to this blog’s content, I will include them here.
Wake up to a whisper, a voice invades my head
Shake it off, I move it away
Turn the other cheek, wake up to a thought
Full of dread, I draw it close
Look in the mirror – Stare in the mirror
Tell myself, Again and again and again
How can I say it so that it sinks in?
How many times should I say it ’til it really sinks in?
No one stares as hard as me
No one says what I have said
No one is as mean as me
No one scars me as deep as me
This plague my companion – feeds and starves the voice
takes away from me- gives me nothing
What will it take to suffocate
this vicious voice that lies inside of me?
How can I be sure?
remember to recall
how can I move past
“my body is so wrong”
My body is not wrong
My body can’t be wrong
(I feel) like my body is so wrong
My body cannot
really be this wrong.
HEAVY, RIGHT? Despite the bleak tone, writing this song was really empowering and good for me, and knowing that my male friend deals with the same dark shit that I have was extremely illuminating. The negative messages that we as HUMANS get about our bodies creep all over everyone. There is still work to be done, and as a body positive health and wellness coach, I am excited to do it.
Moving on, I also did some guest vocals all over this Anopheli album, which has totally blown my mind. The talent of these musicians is ridiculous, and my vocals sound like an evil witch. As you may imagine, I am INTO IT.
I know that both of these bands will not be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s cool! I feel that it is important to note that although I am all : “food! fitness! recovery! veganism! hooray!” I also have other worthwhile things going on now and again. It is worthwhile for folks to acknowledge the full breadth of their personalities, myself included. (I would be lying if I said I wasn’t narrowly focused at times).
Last thing!
I was on the radio last week! One of my awesome clients introduced me to Keith Langhorn, host of the show Food for Thought on KNSJ. Food for Thought focuses on food (duh!) and I love the fun and lighthearted tone of the broadcasts. In this show we talk about fitness, recovery, farmer’s markers, anti-inflammatory foods and more. You can totally listen to that here:
What have you been up to!?